Conventional Wisdom

Holy flying Buddha monkeys, Baltimore! What the expletive is WRONG with you?!?!?!?!? I mean, I grew up on the hellish roadways of ATLANTA and even I thought the traffic was absurd! People just pulling in and out, and even backing up, without warning, random cars PARKED in lanes, backed up traffic blocking every intersection, and of course the fact that every other street had a GIANT CONSTRUCTION PIT in it. Geez, I usually try to balance my criticisms with some nice stuff, but let’s face it: your city SUCKS.

…well, okay. At least we didn’t ACTUALLY get eaten by Cthulhu, probably because he was too afraid to drive around the Inner Harbor. ZING!

(Historical Note: Okay, in retrospect, I’ve seen plenty of worse traffic than downtown Baltimore had, but you need to keep in mind how the previous few cons were either a short drive from my house or overnight hauls where nobody else was awake.  Also, most of the traffic we DID hit, especially trying to get past Arlington, was Interstate traffic.  Sitting in a stretch of gridlock for hours is frustrating, but at least it’s a constant.  It was the sudden randomness of the Baltimore mess that really made it Cthulhu worthy.)